Failing to Find Fifty!

When I started writing this blog, I anticipated that I’d share my playing experiences with you but in truth my career has somewhat petered out.

I didn’t take up the game until quite late, about seventeen or eighteen. I had early success with the ball complimented by some steady progress with the bat. Figures of 6-25 would remain a career best but there would be back-to-back four-wicket hauls for the second XI, even if they did straddle two different seasons. Unfortunately, playing for the second XI usually meant that if I bowled one bad over then I didn’t get to turn my arm over again for a whole fortnight. Couple that with batting at ten or eleven, ie: basically not batting for two years or with little to gain when I did and the sum total is that I was ruined as a cricketer. I should stress that I’m talking about the lowest regions of an amateur league in Yorkshire with many many divisions.

When sent back to the third XI, I reinvented myself as a stoic opening batsman and managed to occupy the crease for all of forty overs or more on more than one occasion. Despite being able to find the boundary, there’d be more dots beside my name in the scorebook than your average dot-to-dot. I’d struggle to score at, on average, more than one run per over. An innings of 47 from all of 43.1 overs, last man out having opened and top scored by far was as good as it ever got. Had I actually managed to execute the shot that brought about my dismissal as intended, the ball would have rolled down the hill for four and with it a maiden fifty. A few weeks later in a run-chase, I scored an unusually quickfire 26 in an opening fifty stand before being absurdly caught and bowled, only to get demoted in the order the following week. Soon I’d find myself scheduled to bat at eleven and not bowling, so traipsed off to find another hobby… and some lovely holidays in Scotland and Ireland.

After a couple of years in the wilderness (The actual New Zealand and Australian wilderness), I returned to find that the 2005 Ashes effect had turned division seven into Test match cricket. Kids who had been inspired by England before the death of cricket on terrestrial television and now with a few years honing their skills under their belts were bending it like Beckham (Or Waqar) and nearly taking my ears off!

A few games into my return, I made a defiant 27, taking nearly thirty overs to do so but hinting at being able to contribute like before. I can remember the moment it all went wrong though. A duck curtesy of a gift to slip in the next game and I never recovered. There then followed a few years of being uncomfortable playing only as a batsman. Not bowling meant that I didn’t feel involved and put pressure on myself to perform solely as a batsman. When I should’ve been relaxing I tensed up instead. I’d be dismissed by old men, kids and everything in-between. My defence fell apart and the odd flirty twenty or thirty was the best that I had to offer, usually either side of a month or two of single figure scores and more ducks than at a frois gras farm!

I did improve my Twenty20 game, managing to turn those dots into singles and produced a match-winning 40 not out in a chips down run-chase but with the target attained a long dreamed of half-century remained out of reach and now seems likely to elude me forever.

Whilst amateur cricket stalwarts up and down the land prepare (Or don’t prepare!) for the 2019 village campaign, I just can’t justify all the ducks and DNBs in the hope of finally finding fifty. A wife and two kids deserve a little more attention on a Saturday afternoon. Never say never but my career best seems set in stone frustratingly three runs short of fifty on 47.

A Brand Spanking New Audiocast!

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Hi all

It’s been a while but here’s a brand spanking new audiocast. Not much prep went in to this but I thought that the Commonwealth Games merited a mention. What a great opportunity it could be to help provide more exposure to Associate nations and cricket in general.

Many thanks for following and bye for now.

Silly Point

Simon Hughes: Who Wants to be a Batsman? Book Review

I’ll be honest, I’ve never been a huge fan of Simon Hughes and this book has done nothing to alter that. The writing is a little too self-indulgent for my liking. In Hughes’ defence, it’s obviously understandable that he should be inking based on his own experiences.

Hughes is clearly obsessed with Mark Ramprakash and of course he’s not alone in being so. The author also seems particularly keen to raise the profile of his daughter, a very talented cricketer according to Hughes’ unbiased opinion!

In amongst the drivel are a couple of really insightful passages, which in a perverse way are what make this book disappointing. By that I mean you must plough through a chapter or two to find interesting content. I’m possibly being a little harsh but Hughes’ onscreen persona has never endeared himself to me. He joins the long list of analysers who confirm that to have played the game doesn’t automatically make you an insightful pundit!

That said, I’ll repeat that there are one or two profound insights amongst the pages and all this adds up to a Silly Point score of…

Stumped on 59!

International Duck Watch… for One Night Only!

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Silly Point’s long-retired gimmick has today come out of retirement to celebrate the astounding ineptitude of Pakistan’s Sahibzada Farhan’s introduction to international cricket. The international virgin managed to get himself stumped off a wide from the very first delivery that he faced in Harare today. That’s right, the opening batsman’s inscription in the scorebook reads: Out 0, Balls Faced 0!

http://www.espncricinfo.com/series/18633/scorecard/1142919/australia-vs-pakistan-final-zimbabwe-twenty20-tri-series-2018

I can emphasise with Farhan as I once did the same thing myself. It wasn’t quite on the same scale, the Harrogate and District Evening League probably isn’t comparable to international cricket! In my defence, I’d only played a handful of matches at the time and unlike Farhan, I’m not a professional cricketer who has been practicing day after day for a number of years!

All joking aside, congratulations to Farhan on representing his country and fingers crossed for him that they’ll be opportunities in the future to put things right.

Burns & the Blast!

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Good morning loyal followers.

Please have a listen to my latest audio cast. Bear with, it’s a little bit football dominated for the first couple of minutes!

Many thanks

Happy Cricket!

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If like me, you’re in the habit of trawling through cricket blogs, then you’ll have become accustomed to an awful lot of cynicism, pessimism, scepticism and delusion. It appears that anything can be blamed on the ECB’s Tom Harrison or possibly Andrew Strauss. I mean anything! Your wife didn’t buy you those new shiny white cricket socks that you wanted for your birthday, then it’s probably Tom Harrison’s fault!

Nineteen-year-old Sam Curran can be written off as a 77mph trundler, three overs into his Test debut. Any uncapped England qualified player is the next best thing until they play. Anything less than fifty on debut, no wicket in their first over or simply that they bowl at less than 90mph, well they’re damaged goods now. Move onto the next cab off the rank! Any genuine fast bowler should play for England regardless of whether or not they can actually take wickets at domestic level and irrespective or any ability to play consecutive matches. This is the general ideology of bloggers and those who bother to post comments at the bottom of the internet!

All Stars Cricket has got kids playing bat ‘n’ ball but let’s slag it off anyway! If women are outside socialising and playing softball, then let’s slag that off for good measure too!

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Well, I’d like to break the mould. I’d like to write about happy cricket: Last night I scored my first run in nearly two years… YEY! I enjoyed getting some exercise and challenging myself in the fresh air and outdoors on a lovely summer’s evening.

Morne Morkel finally made his debut for Surrey and got me some Telegraph Fantasy Cricket points… YIPPEE!

All associate cricket nations will soon have full T20I status. That means players can regularly check their Cricinfo player profile page and look at their stats… WHOOPEE!

Tomorrow, cricketers up and down the country will be outside playing cricket. Some will be keeping communities together. They’ll be competing, learning, improving, breaking personal, team or league records, getting exercise, visiting new places, and living new experiences. Some people will even be playing for the first time. Said people will enjoy the company of their teammates, the weather and a drink or two (Doesn’t have to be alcoholic) post match… GREAT!

Spectators will enjoy watching and listening to international, county and village cricket, both at grounds and at home as well as in the car or anywhere else for that matter. They’ll be inspired and impressed by lots of what they see… YESSS!

Cricket. It’s fun, it’s hard, it’s rewarding if you put the effort in. The bigwigs get slagged off like any politicians do, regardless of whether or not they care, try or are any good. Moan, criticise, whinge… I’m sorry, this was supposed to be happy cricket! I’ve been blogging for nearly two years now. I write my own stuff (Of course I take inspiration from headlines and articles) and take my own pictures. I don’t just copy and paste. I don’t illegally use photos that I don’t have the rights too. I may write or say some rubbish but at least it’s my rubbish. This is probably (Possibly!) my first rant article.

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Some patronising and condescending advice to everybody (I’m being hypocritical aren’t I?): Support the England cricket team. Support cricket. SUPPORT!!!